Monday, August 19, 2013

The Other Butterfly Effect

I am not surprised to see the widely accepted symbol for all little angels that left their family's too soon is a butterfly. For some reason, I've always felt this was such a perfect symbolic choice because losing your baby is such a good example of the scientific butterfly effect. I call it the OTHER butterfly effect.

The butterfly effect  in chaos theory, draws a connection between a seemingly insignificant happening, resulting in a dramatic alteration of another happening. That is of course, NOT the technical definition, but this isn't a technical article. During comparison, there are only two loose ends that I couldn't connect until now. One was that this is a linear chain versus the non-linear definition, and the second was that this was not an insignificant happening. Right? Maybe not.

To reason with the latter, I asked myself how many parent's lament the seemingly insignificant impact their angel might have had on the world at large. How many parents start charities in their sleeping children's names so that the impact can be felt by others, else there would be none at all? How many parent's work and bear witness to their angel at every opportunity in an effort to keep a voice to the matter, and a light on the subject? I see the world's definition of insignificant does apply to even my perfect little 5 pound bundle of forever sleeping awesomeness, though it is still significant to me.

Then I found myself reflecting on the former issue of whether the linear reaction I witness in my own life, is really linear at all. I mean, if the love she has left in her stead lives on in my heart, and my heart inspires me to do more for others, and if my doing for others dramatically affects the outcome of a happening in their life, well, then, it's just not as linear as it appears at first glance.

So the butterfly effect has yet another testament to the validity of the concept. I live the butterfly effect, except it's not up to chance what effect will transpire. It is always good. It is always with love. Not just me... everyone who knows this new normal has that same love. Whether it's all trapped up behind pain and fear, or it's already moved passed that to a place where it roams free. It's always the same. We all have heart shaped marks left on our souls where a baby that you can't see lives on. We all live the other butterfly effect.

Miss you baby and I love you.

1 comment:

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