Sunday, October 16, 2011

Purple Paper Butterflies

I could have written a book but "Hugs N Kisses Baby. Love, Mommy" was all I wrote on the purple paper butterfly, attached to a string, dangling below a purple balloon. Just above, the words "Daddy Loves You Baby Girl" are written. I stare at the poor withering balloon which has already begun to shrink in the heat of the sun. I wonder if this balloon has enough strength to make it out of the parking lot, let alone into the heavens. Because I know Carly is watching us today, the balloon undeservedly wins my faith.

We all release our ballons together at the sound of the anouncers mark. The symbolism is not lost on me as I watch 500 faces turn upwards. In the clear, clear sky, the light and dark purple balloons float in chaotic syncronisity. Most were taken immediately into the wind. Some were released with difficulty and obstacles before children, and grown adults alike, were climbing trees to ensure that each message, each balloon, and each note was delivered as intended. Looking into the distance, it appeared to me as a small army of free souls dancing happily towards some great place.

In a few minutes, they were nothing but a pinhead spot on an infinite horizon. Again, you recognize that familiar feeling that you have just let your little angel go. Out of your grasp, and out of your control. This time is different though and I might have even smiled a little. This time you don't leave with less than you came in with. You're not coming here with your baby, and leaving without. Today you get a little more than what you already had. One more memory, one more reason to live your life with love, and one more glimpse into how great heaven must be.

We love you baby girl. We miss you every day.
-Mommy and Daddy
Thank you Northside Perinatel Loss staff for the chance to come together and remember our baby.

1 comment:

Kristi said...

I really wanted to attend this, but will confess that I wasn't sure what to expect.
It was perfect; symbolic and full of hope and love......and of course a little bittersweet. Watching the balloons reaching for heaven with messages of love on lavender butterflies was very symbolic. Each balloon carried love heavenward. Each balloon lifted off from it's own point, each followed a different path, but left loved ones behind as they danced their way toward heaven. The moment of release,for just a moment, the earthbound loved ones stood motionless and powerless as time stopped for them and they watched their ballon dance further and further away.